Nothing really

Work sometimes is really not all of what it is cracked up to be... Having some problems but nothing that cannot be fixed... I guess after not being in the "work arena" I have lost my touch with communicating my point... Funny seeming that I received my B.A. degree in Human Communications.I need more hours and a raise. Living off 20 hours a week is nt cutting it. Don't get me wrong I love going to work at 9:00 am and getting off at 1:00 pm... But come Friday I'm looking at a crap paycheck.... should I start looking elsewhere??? What to do what to do...

I can't believe it is over

School has been a challenge for me. I was the child that was not supposed to make it more or less succeed in life. I never went to high school I was one of the "Bad" kids. I was in a fight every week, suspended, arrested, and even locked up a few times. No one really knows me. I dropped off the face of the earth 1996 the year my son was born; I vowed never to put him through what I went through as a child. Anyways, I have been through so much this year. The beginning was so stressful everything just seemed to go wrong. I finally ended my 15 year relationship with my "baby daddy." I have been on my own for most of my life, well since I was 14. I never thought I was good enough to go to school. My ultimate thought was that I would end up in prison, but God is good. He turned my life around and showed me a better way. I went to college by accident. I never thought I was going to graduate but this is my second graduation. First was my Associate's degree now my Bachelor's. Sometimes it feels like I am living a dream; this does not seem real or even like my life. If I could only tell people my life story from which I came to where I am now they would be amazed. I just want to say for all those out there who never thought that they could make it in life you can. I am living proof that God is real and performing miracles everyday and He is not finished with me yet!!!

Lost in Cyberspace!!!

Man, I finally got on the ball and spent the last hour writing a blog. In one second and the click of the wrong button all my thoughts were gone. Never to come back. People think I am crazy because I’ll handwrite my papers then type them. This is a perfect example of why. The blog I was writing may have been offensive so maybe that was God's way of censorship. I was really feeling what I had to say and once I said it, it was gone. I could not articulate what I was feeling again so this is my blog.

Rise in Gang Violence

I am enraged at the rise of violence in Salinas. There have been four shooting in which two people were killed. One male was 26 and the other 23. As a mother of two boys, I could not bury one of my children. Impossible! More and more mothers are being forced to plan funerals instead of weddings. I remember this girl I went to school with everyone hated her she was having a car wash, I stopped and asked what it was for and she told me her brother was murdered. The next day they were having a barbeque outside of a liquor store still trying to raise money for the funeral. I was so sad that I gave them the money that I had on both days. I could not understand how a family does not even have time to grieve over a loved one. When I showed up to the BBQ the family members were dressed out in their Norteno attire. I was confused and pissed off at the same time. Being in the gang is just what got your loved one killed now they were on the Eastside flaming. Put your shit down for a minute!!! People Please!!! I know the game, I understand why they dressed out, but that was someone’s child. Show respect to the family by not trying to incite more violence. Two kids under 18 died across the street from my house at a grocery store. Their bodies lay on the cold concrete parking lot for about 6 hours, I saw the mother pull up in a van and identify her son. This to me is heartbreaking, but yet normal. Please raise awareness, talk to the youth in your community, recognize the signs, become proactive, do something. By doing something you may save two lives, one from prison and the other form being taken.

Another Molester on the Loose

Once again another child molester will be set free in Monterey County. James Lamb a convicted child molester that admitted that he molested more than 50 children. According to doctors at Atascadero state hospital Lamb is no longer a threat to society because he has been chemically castrated, and has undergone extensive psychological treatment. When will we learn? These people are dangerous and there is said to be no cure, then why are they getting out of jail. The point of jail was to rehabilitate now its main purpose is to incapacitate criminals if we cannot do either then what is the point. The news said he spent 20 years in jail do the math that is less than 6 months for every child he has raped. The community would be outraged if a child molester was sentenced to 6 months in jail. Vigilantism would be the proper conclusion to that problem. Oh wait, he has to wear a GPS tracking device for our safety. How does that help if he touching kids in a store or God forbid he is another John Couey and has the neighbor kid at his house? Believe it or not there is a statute of limitation on these types of crime. That's why child molesters should get on strike and you’re out, mandatory life in prison. Why chance the safety of children the most precious resource all this extra safety measures the government places on these offenders is a waste of money. If it is that serious that they need to be micromanaged then for our protection then definitely they should spend the rest of their life in prison.

Completely Blank

I am so drained between capstone and my Spanish class that I don't have any deep thoughts I want to blog about. I am working on a few blogs about deadbeat dads, welfare reform, and probably my psycho neighbors, but not today.

A little too deep

After last week’s seminar I had to do some deep soul searching. I did a renewal self evaluation. Looking at the history of this country; America, the “Land of the Free” and its history in engrained in slavery and barbarism, murder, and rape. What an embarrassment. I used to look down on Germany for their actions in the Holocaust, but America is no better. Looking at this topic I had to decipher everything about myself. Am I living a lie? My language, my heritage, even my religion. I had to question whether being a Christian was right. How could people enslave others, change their names, identity; break up families in the name of God? I had to question whether I wanted to believe in that same God. The white man’s God who they stood steadfast on His words. The more I learn the more confused I become. I have mixed feelings about a lot of this. Many people have told me that slavery happened so long ago and that it should be left as a part of history, but when I see the effects that it has on people today I cannot leave it in the past. I am always telling my kids to be mindful when they are in stores. Don’t touch anything and keep your hands out of your pockets! I say. I cannot get help in certain stores but I can sure be followed. Just on Thursday I was followed in Sears of all stores the sales lady never once asked if I needed any help but she followed me all the way to the door. I thought she was coming home with me but I guess not. All I could think about is what the hell I am going to steal from Sears. Damn, I tried to steal the lawnmower but it wouldn’t fit in my pocket. Subtle racism is the worst because you know it is there but the other person is doing a terrible job of covering it up. I do not want to live in a peaceful world where everything is rosy. I want people to be real and genuine. If you are scared to touch me because my blackness may rub off on you let me know. I like to know how people feel up front; it eliminates all the guess work.